Captain Phillips

Ahoy, mateys! Tom Hanks stARRRR!s as ye title chARRRR!acter in this likely over-dramatized true story of a boat getting invaded by pirates who want what any buccaneer wants... treasure! Except these pirates don't talk ye way we other pirates talk—they seem to have true despARRRR!ation and a strange display of selflessness in their act o' crime that makes you almost root for them underdog-pirates due to their disadvantages and the fact that they'll use ye booty to feed their starving women and children. I guess ye producers just expected ye audience to root for Tom Hanks by default. Ugh. Lots of social commentARRRR!y opportunities lost worse than sunken treasure for ye sake of Hollywood-izing an event that actually had a rather swift resolution. It's a wonder how they could even make a two hour movie out of it without making some stuff up. Hmm....