Geekster's Top 35 Favorite Films of All-Time

Heathers

Dear Diary: Veronica Sawyer (played by Winona Ryder) is part of a four-girl clique and is the only one NOT named Heather. She becomes mesmerized by the mysterious Jason "J.D." Dean (played by a young Christian Slater—the forehead wrinkles and receding hairline absent) and gets bored of the shallowness that comes with being popular. When faced with retaliation and even more pressure after trying to break free from the Heathers, Veronica turns to J.D. for help. A prank would be a good way to get back at the Heathers? Perhaps. But J.D. has other plans… Definitely meets the definition of black-comedy, but the audience has to suspend a little too much disbelief. Not to mention, much of the main character's conflicts could be easily resolved by simply dialing 9-1-1. The movie is lucky it got made when it did, as a satire on teen suicide or a student bent on mass-murder would probably never fly after the 1990s.

Dennis the Menace

Cash-grab adaptation of Hank Ketcham's comic strip centered around a "mischievous" ("annoying" is a far better word) boy Gamble and cranky next door neighbor Matthau. Although one can find many issues with Gamble's portrayal of Dennis Mitchell—one being that the character just doesn't seem like a little boy of the 1990s—he and Matthau end up making a pretty decent duo; while Plowright, Stanton and Thompson all fit nicely into supporting roles. Perhaps the greatest thing about this movie is the chillingly disgusting drifter, played excellently by Christopher Lloyd, who creeps slowly through the cookie-cutter town like a python in a rose-garden. Lots of dull jokes, but the movie never ceases to be boring. Very anti-climatic. Followed by direct-to-video sequel and Saturday morning cartoon.

Missing at 17 (TV)

Weight defines the performer, apparently, with Lifetime casting their boniest actress over 40 (O'Kelley) as a woman trying to save adopted daughter Kell (who couldn't be more stereotypical) from criminal Gavin (who's more an idiot-daredevil than a menace), and finds the girl's biological mother and brother (Hinkle and Alberti, respectively—both delivering more depth than any of the other principal characters) as unlikely allies. Frequently inexplicable: officer Pettis would never just give out an address just because someone asked for it; O'Kelley is such a hypocrite, that it's difficult to root for her; oh, and then there's the little kid Hopkins, who hasn't got a clue as to what's going on, but can still conveniently hack needed information by visiting one website. As if the story weren't lame enough, the movie fluffs itself by pointless subplots and other detours. Pretty close to being bottom-of-the-barrel, but is saved halfway decent acting and polished editing.

Memento

Christopher Nolan's breakthrough feature (second overall feature after the equally awesome "FOLLOWING") is a psychological-thriller told in two different sequences (one, black-and-white and in chronological order; another, color and in reverse order) about anterograde-amnesiac Pearce searching for the mysterious John G. (the man who raped and murdered his wife Fox and caused his short-term memory loss) all the while gaining information from people who appear to be sympathizers but may be using his condition to their advantage, and piecing together the puzzle through numerous Polaroid photographs. Incredibly original and incessantly intense; however, lots of holes begin to unveil upon replay. Based on the then-unpublished short-story MEMENTO MORI, written by director's brother Jonathan.

A Simple Wish

8-year-old Wilson (still as sweet as when we saw her in MRS. DOUBTFIRE) wishes for her cabbie father Pastorelli to win the leading role in a Broadway adaptation of Dickens' A TALE OF TWO CITIES, and Short (still called a "fairy godmother" despite being a male) arrives to (attempt to) grant it to her. Fans of Short's comedy will get it, and even if you're not a fan of his work there are still some worthy moments; however, the story takes way too long to get going for a movie targeted at children. Capra's character also slows the movie down as Wilson's stereotypical punk older brother who's protective of his younger sister but is too cool to show it. The musical numbers in the theatre scenes are a nice touch, but it's difficult to give the movie brownie-points for it since the film itself is not a musical. Jaro Dick's set decoration and Luke Reichle's costume design is terrific. Hey! one of the Fairy Godmother's (Bunty Webb) was the 'Ay Caramba' Lady in TOMMY BOY!

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3006756/reviews-3

After breaking up with cheating boyfriend and co-worker Watson, Philadelphian hotel event planner Monroe tries online dating and meets charming businessman Gray-Stanford, who seems perfect at first but soon shows signs of being an obsessive and controlling maniac capable of murder. Surprisingly decent for a Lifetime Movie, with Monroe's few foolish missteps never causing the viewer to roll their eyes, and Gray-Stanford actually delivering some legit chills for even the most seasoned thriller-buffs. Runyan and Lake play some very interesting supporting characters, a rarity in this type of mystery, but unfortunately the movie's rushed ending don't do their roles justice.

Guinea Pig 5: Mermaid in the Manhole

Director Hideshi Hino brings his manga to screen as an installment in the notorious GUINEA PIG series, about a recently widowered painter who finds artistic inspiration in an unlikely location from an unlikely creature. For gorehounds and ONLY gorehounds. The special effects—albeit twisted—are undeniably impressive. Probably one of the only films that could make the viewer want to run to the bathroom and vomit—not counting hand-held-styled movies that causes motion sickness. Aside from the shameless nastiness, the story's originality should also be recognized because of how difficult it can be to pull off this type of horror without involving serial killers or monsters in the mix.

The Nightmare Nanny

Ashley Scott plays a mother with a terrible haircut and a newfound motivation to return to work after finding nanny Melvin, who appears to be an excellent fit for her toddler daughter. It's only after Scott's character goes against her hunches that she decides to take action… but by that time, the obvious psycho she hired to care for her daughter has gone missing… with… you guessed it… the daughter. Ugh! Unsympathetic characters and dull story. There really is nothing here but a waste of time. Even for people who embrace the shameless corniness of a Lifetime Movie will find this one stale; there's not even a whole lot to make fun of either. Just downright lame.