Tuesday, August 21, 2001

The Legend of Zelda (VG)

I read somewhere in a magazine that "The Legend Of Zelda (1986)" is one of the greatest video-games of all-time. I wouldn't be shocked if it was the greatest. It is certainly my favorite video-game. I have played thousands of video-games, and this easily tops them all. Old games and new. This game has no genre of the tops, it tops all of the genres.

I remember crying when I was seven years old because my kid brother (who was about 3) deleted my Link. As I look back on that moment, to this day, it still seems logical to cry, because as a little boy, I put a lot of work into getting where I was. I think anybody, old and young, puts a lot of work into "The Legend Of Zelda (1986)". You spend so much time playing this game, and the game grows on you more and more. This game kind of becomes a part of your life. A classic never dies, my friend; and neither does a legend. :) It took me over five years to beat both of the quests together, while at the same time I was using Game Genie and a Walkthrough for some of it. This game is for the PROS ONLY! The score is unforgettable; I love the music so much. There is not one thing wrong with this game. I find it very shocking that they could've fit all this data into a NES game. 10/10. I don't think I'll ever see a video game, that tops this one.

"Big Brother" (Seasons 2 & 3)

I love this show. It's a real treat! It doesn't make you wait a whole week to see the upcoming episode, it's on three times a week! Now, maybe BB1 was terrible, but give BB2 a chance. BB2 is very fun to watch. BB2 truely shows how: people can break down when there surrounded by one person 24/7, for at least a week; what people will do for money; and how much people change from the start to the end. It is a very interesting show. I admit, I didn't have an interest in the first Big Brother, but the second one is just awesome. CAUTION: Don't watch the show unless you start watching when the season first starts, because you won't know what's going on, and you'll hate it.

Tuesday, June 26, 2001

A Clockwork Orange

Very bizarre film. Stanley Kubrick is great. Although, I wish he would've made the film a little longer, put more Russian into the language, and told us what happened to Pete (even though it says that in the novel). But, hey, maybe it would've ruined the movie, I don't know.

It is very hard to write a review on this one because there's no way to describe the plot. There certainly is a plot though. Just make sure to open your mind, and pay close attention

Cannibal Holocaust

If you decided to read my review, you are probably already interested enough to know what this film is about.

The plot is truly original. Actually, everything about this movie is great. But, one thing completely stands out in the movie…The score. The score was composed by Riz Ortolani. Everything about the soundtrack is beautiful. It goes from being very haunting, to emotional and sad, or simply just beautiful. Fits in with the movie all the way. The Main Theme is one of the best songs ever (probably would've been a hit if Cannibal Holocaust wasn't so feared).

I saw this movie about two months ago and decided to write a review about it now because I was speechless back when I just viewed it; and I still don't have much to say. Simply, it's a great movie. If you have the chance to get your paws on this movie, grab it. Watch With Caution: This Film Is Very Violent, But Is Something Anybody Will Be Able To Sit Through.

One question I have is, what happened to all the actors. They only played in a couple of films besides this. They were terrific. Also, does anybody have guitar tabs the "Cannibal Holocaust (Main Theme)"? Once again, I love that song. If you can answer one of my two questions, please e-mail me. Thank you.

Sunday, June 17, 2001


This movie is unnecessarily long. No, it's not a three hour film, but it didn't have to be as long as it was. It just kept going on and on. At least `Nosferatu (1922)' made it's point and was done. This film had every little detail, and kept going on.

Gary Oldman was a terrible Dracula. They could've at least made him look like Count Orlock rather than a stylish character. Or, if they wanted a stylistic character, than they could've casted a better actor, that wasn't so ugly. Maybe more of a nice face. It just seemed too weird that a guy as ugly as Gary Oldman, could get with a hot woman like Winona Ryder. But it wasn't just his looks, he was too old also. If you want to see a good Dracula movie, see Nosferatu.

On the upside, the casting and acting was great; besides Gary Oldman. It really respected it's story, and made it one of a kind. Although I had a lot of disappointments, I still think this film deserves a 7/10. I am being very harsh on this movie, since it's a remake, but I suggest you go out and rent it and judge it for yourself. Trust me, it is certainly not a waste of money. This is a movie that'll give one another various opinions. Watch it.

Tuesday, May 8, 2001

Men Behind the Sun

*** This review may contain spoilers ***
It's not worth it. Big disappointment. As I did, you probably are familiar with the title "Men Behind The Sun" because of it's violence; you heard this was a very violent movie. But, it's not even that violent. Anybody will be able to sit through this.

I was very p***** after viewing this film. Mainly because a lot of people who wrote reviews about this very film at IMDb said it was so violent.

Bulls**t. There is not very much violence to this film. That's probably why I didn't like it is because some stupid people built it up and over-rated it.


(CH) -- Cold-hearted; Not violent at all, but just the idea that it actually happens will stay with you forever. (M) -- Mild violence. R-rated movie violence. (MED) -- Medium violence. Violence that about anybody will still be able to handle. (D) -- Most disturbing.

The only violent scene in this 90 minute film are:

- Cold-hearted soldier buries an infant in the snow. (CH) - A woman getting her hands dismembered; by freezing them, and then putting them in hot water, which leaves them melted. Then scientist rips off the skin, and we see the bones. (M) - Soldiers tie prisoners to a cross, and blow them up, but to the point where there still alive, to see what it's like. (M) - A man is put in a pressure-chamber, and his intestines come out of his body. (D) - A pigeon, a woman and her daughter and put in a gas-chamber. (CH) - Autopsy on live child, the mute-child actually. (MED) - The famous cat/rat scene. (D)


All those violent scenes combine, consists of about 10 minutes, if that. So the rest of this film is just bulls**t about trying to create a plague, and young soldiers who are against the experiments or something; I don't really know, it was a poorly made film. The directing was poor, and the acting wasn't that great either.

First off, there are no credits, so the director doesn't give anybody any credit for the film. Second, the violence is unnecessary for the film. Killing a real cat, and doing a real autopsy, etc. was completely unnecessary. Yet, one could argue that that was the point, to make us feel p***ed, so we'd know how offensive this event was. But that's what really p****s me off, because it was like they were trying to get to the point that it was worse than the holocaust; or at least that's how I felt. And it wasn't even close.

Sure, the events that occurred here, at Unit 731 were terrible, but it was no big event. The unit was closed down.

And third. The cat and rat scene was so inappropriate. It has nothing to do with the film. Plus, killing a live animal is just wrong. Now, I know Cannibal Holocaust, one of my favorite movies, had a bunch of real animal deaths in it. But the animals that died in Cannibal Holocaust died in less than two seconds. The poor cat took about three minutes to die. It was just wrong. Most unnecessary thing I've ever seen.

So, in conclusion, it was a very crappy war film. Wasn't tragic at all, nothing compared to the holocaust, and the violence was terrible. If you wanted to see this movie because you're a big war-film fanatic, don't waste your time, it sucks. If you wanted to see this movie because you heard that it was really violent, don't waste your time, because it's not even violent at all. I realized why this film is so hard to find, because nobody probably wants to see it. It sucks. If you're looking for a violent movie, see Cannibal Holocaust. That's a gem. Good plot and good violence, which Men Behind The Sun didn't have.

Monday, March 19, 2001

Natural Born Killers

This film is about a couple, Mickey Nox (Woody Harrelson) and Mallory Wilson-Nox (Juliette Lewis) who are a serial killer couple. They go around killing people, get caught and locked up, and try to escape. That's basically the plot (escaping from jail).

I rented `Natural Born Killers (NBK)' because it looked interesting; Great cast (Woody Harrelson, Juliette Lewis, Robert Downey Jr., Tom Sizemore, and Tommy Lee Jones), catchy title, and because I wanted to see how Harrison could play a cold-hearted killer.

I go home, watch it. I end up being disgusted. I'm not disappointed, because I wasn't expecting a classic out of this one, but very disgusted. This film gross, and cold-hearted.

I feel that Oliver Stone tried to make Mickey convince people that killing wasn't that evil; And after how many people Mickey and Mallory killed, I just stopped caring about them. No pity, man. Lewis isn't that pretty, and they tried to make her like a babe who kills people; And Harrelson's character cheated on Mallory by raping one of his victims. It's pure scum. I didn't care what would've happened. Maybe if Quentin Tarantino directed it, it would've been a whole lot better.

Don't see this film, unless your a cult-film fanatic.

Monday, March 12, 2001


This film is about a middle aged woman, Melba May (Park Overall,) who has big dreams, but is going nowhere. She lives in a trailer, in Nevada, with her husband Flint (Don Harvey.) One night Melba catches Flint with another woman, and leaves him. She decides to go to Vegas to meet up with an old friend from high school, Dottie Delgato (Veronica Cartwright,) who's dreams went where she wanted them. But when Melba finds her, she finds out Dottie's dreams only lasted temporarily.

Back at home, Flint gets a knock on his door, finding out that Melba just won a million dollars. But only Melba can expect it. So Flint goes off to find her, basically to kidnap her, so he can keep the money himself. It was only possible for Melba to get to Vegas by three young agents from Hollywood, off to Vegas to make money. This movie is an okay movie. I'd give it a 7/10, only because I didn't expect much from it. It's better as a movie made for TV.

Three Kings

This is film has kind of a simple plot. Four soldiers go after gold bricks that is held in a bunker, in a village near Karbala. The four find themselves wanting to help the villagers, more than getting the gold, and they run into a lot of trouble with the Iraqi Soldiers.

This is a great film. But it doesn't belong under the war genre. It's more action, even though the setting is war. So, if you're a(n) "Apocalypse Now," "Deer Hunter," "Boys In Company C," etc. fanatic, than don't expect much from this movie. Other than that, I think you'd enjoy it. It's not good as a war film, but it's good as a(n) action/comedy, or drama film. Give it a look.

Boiler Room

For some people this is a simple movie, for others…it's a difficult, so I'm not going to get into detail. I kind of liked this movie because it had detail. I can fall right into a movie, as if I'm living it. Some people can't, they're waiting for everything on the screen, they can't get into it, unlike me . So if you're wanting a movie where you don't have to get into it, don't watch this. For you other, here's what I have to say…This movie is about a young man, Seth Davis (Giovanni Ribisi,) who runs an illegal gambling joint in his apartment. 

When his father, Judge Davis (Ron Rifkin,) finds out, Seth gets another job…as a stockbroker. Basically, Seth just wants to make money to impress his father. My guys is to why the film was given an "R" rating was because of a few disturbing scenes. One scene, at the beginning of the film, where my favorite actor Jamie Kennedy, is doing cocaine. And another scene where Richi (Scott Caan) takes a guy outside, and beets him up. I guess I find Caan's character beating somebody up in this movie disturbing because it looks so real. I mean, my favorite genre is horror, which is a blood-filled-genre, but this looked so real, I was about to hide my face like a 5-year-old. The reason I gave this film a 9/10 was because of the ending. You feel cheated. I don't know if they purposely did it, or what, but I can't get into much detail about that unless I have to spoil it. So, it was a good movie for a certain kind of person.

Reservoir Dogs

Quentin Tarantino is most famous for his film `Pulp Fiction'. `Pulp Fiction' won over twelve awards. One year before that was Tarantino's second film `True Romance', starring Patricia Arquette & Christian Slater. `True Romance', `Pulp Fiction', `Natural Born Killers', and many other projects written by Tarantino were a spin-off of his first film `Reservoir Dogs'. This film is about a man named Joes Cabot (Lawrence Tierney) who runs a crime business. Cabot is a rich man (thanks to theft) and is wanted by the police. Cobot is a very popular man, and is loved and respected by many of his thief-soldiers. Uncut diamonds are being imported to a store, and Cobot wants his hands on it. He hires six men to do a four-man job. Cobot has everything all planned out (like he always does). He gives his thieves names, so if there's a rat in the house, there will be a less of a chance of getting caught because they don't know your name. Mr. Brown (Tarantino), Mr. White (Keitel), Mr. Blonde (Madsen), Mr. Blue (Bunker), Mr. Orange (Roth), and Mr. Pink (Buscemi) and their given names. They are not to tell anything about themselves to each other, such as their real name, their wife's name, when/where they did time, where they're from, or a bank they robbed. The robbery is all planned out, very well. But something goes wrong! While robbing the store, they are suddenly surrounded by cops. Mr. Pink (Steven Buscemi) has a good feeling that they were set up. Some of the thieves got away, some got killed, and maybe some got caught. The survived thieves meet back at the rendezvous and finally come to the conclusion that; one of the six thieves, Joe Cobot, or his son Nice Guy Eddie (Chris Penn), is an undercover cop. Throughout the film they try to figure out who the cop is. There is no actual main character. There are three main characters in this film; Mr. White (Harvey Keitel), Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen), and Mr. Orange (Tim Roth). Those three are the principle characters in this film. This is a very good film. The first five minutes might be slow for some of you, but it's there so you get to know the characters. Just remember the characters I told you about, and you'll enjoy this entertaining brilliant film.

Man Bites Dog

C'est arrivé près de chez vous (Man Bites Dog) is a mocumentary (fake-documentary) from Belgium, released in 1992. It is great. Some people just don't like it, and you wonna know why? It's because they probably don't have the mind to understand what it is about. From what I've seen, I think the film isn't about one particular subject. That's why some people feel cheated. That's how I thought the first time I saw it. But I guess the film is aimed at how all human beings are the same. If they're poor, rich, black, white, young, old, nice, mean, helper, or killer. But after all the times I've seen it, I still remain uncertain. Maybe I'm completely wrong.

The main character, Benoît Poelvoorde, is a serial killer. He kills for money, and for pleasure. Basically, all that is done in the film is the crew hangs around Poelvoorde. We watch him do stuff we can compare to, and then we see him do stuff that would make us sick.

What this film taught me was that there are two sides to every single person. Benoît Poelvoorde was a cold-hearted, s**t talking, serial killer; Yet, at times he seems like your best friend, like you know him so well. And that's what I think this film is about. No matter how bad a person is, they're still a human. You find so much in common and uncommon with each other. Or, once again, maybe I'm completely wrong. Why don't you see it for yourself?

Sunday, March 11, 2001


*** This review may contain spoilers ***
I hated this movie! I don't think I hated it because it was bad, but because so many people thought it was good. What was so good about it? There was no real plot, unless you consider; A crook from Cuba, who gets rich in America, by becoming a drug-dealer, and killing people. That's not original. There are plenty of movie out there that are like that, which are better.

What I hear a lot of people say is that they liked this movie's ending the best. I thought the ending was the worst part.


A guy, who's mean to his wife, smuggles drugs, and kills his friends, die. Like I cared? This guy was a jerk, and got what he was asking for, but HIS DEATH SCENE WAS CHEAP. It was nothing original. And they tried to make it seem tragic. Like I gave a **** that he died.


Also, I didn't think it was smart to cast an Italian guy to play a Cuban. I don't care if Pachino has 25% (if that) cuban in his blood, he looks Italian and he is considered an Italian. Michelle Pfeiffer was a joke too. She always cracks me up, when she tries to act sexy. She's pretty, but she can't be sexy.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

Yep, this movie sucks… and I was very fond of the previous Halloween films—specifically, the first and second. Film has come a long way "Twenty Years Later" and in no way does H2O come even close to living up to its predecessors. Everything about this movie sucked! Unsympathetic characters in a stupid story. Don't even get me going with the casting… LL Cool J? What the hell were they thinking! They must have been desperate. This movie is seriously one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Saturday, February 17, 2001

Scream 3

Scream 3 was horrible! How could they make this into a movie? The first two were excellent, no complaints, 10s/10s! But this one just sucked! Everything was cheesy. It was more of a comedy, than a horror flick. The ending wasn't shocking (and this ending was supposed to close the series). But worst of all, it wasn't made for horror buffs. It's just one of those movies where anybody can just walk in the theater and watch (you wouldn't even have had to see `Scream' or `Scream 2'). `Scream' was for horrorbuffs. `Scream 2' was for both `Scream' fanatics, and horrorbuffs. But `Scream 3' was just nothing. It had no movie trivia, wasn't even funny, not original at all, and not even scary. The only reason one should view this trash is to see how the great `Scream' and `Scream 2' end, or just want to see if it's as bad as I say. Trust me, it is. 3/10. I gave it a 3/10 because at least all the returning actors came back. David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, Liev Schreiber, and even a special appearance by JAMIE KENNEDY AS GEEKY RANDY MEEKS! Which sucked, but at least Randy was in it!

Scream 2

Two years after the Woodsboro Murders, Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) leaves home to major in acting at Windsor College. Everything is great now. Her horrible past is behind her. She has a lead role in a play, is making great friends, and even has a sane boyfriend, Derek (Jerry O'Connell). When everything seems to be going great, two students that attend the same college as Sidney, are brutally murdered by a psychopath in a Father's Death Costume. Sound familiar? Yes. Copycat killer. This copycat killer chooses his/her victims in the order that a victim was killed in Woodsboro. Similarities of the victims in Woodsboro and Windor are the names. Maureen Prescott - Maureen Evans. Steven Orth - Phil Stevens. You get the picture. The killer wants revenge. But who is the killer? And what did Sidney ever do to drive somebody on a killing spree? If the killer is following Woodsboro, the killer must be from Woodsboro. But who could it be?

Could it be one of Sidney's new friends? They seem fine, but you never know. One of them might be from Woodsboro. Or maybe it's somebody in Woodsboro that she already knows. A fellow survivor of the Woodsboro Murders? Dwight `Dewey' Riley (David Arquette), Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox), and Geeky Randy Meeks (Jamie Kennedy). Why would they want to kill her? Dewey's sister died trying to help Sidney in the terrifying Woodsboro Muders, maybe Dewey blames Sidney for his sister's death. Gale, maybe, we all know she's hungry for publicity, maybe killing is the only way to get some. We all know Randy is in love with Sidney, maybe he thinks he can never get her, so he wants to kill her; Randy and Sidney both go to the same college, doesn't that seem a little strange; they went to the same high school, and now they go to the same college, hundreds of miles away from their hometown, Woodsboro? Or even Cotton Weary (Liev Scheiber), the innocent man who was sent to death-row because Sidney falsely accused him of murdering her mother three years earlier, and now he want revenge? The tale is just as terrifying as the original. This film is the best sequel I've ever seen. It is just a good as the original. No complaints. Very scary, very funny, and very original just like `Scream'. It's even very sad at one part is in the film, which also almost made me cry. I won't give it away, but it has to do with Ghostface in the newsvan, (you'll know what I'm talking about after you saw this, or if you've already seen it). You'll be touched by this shocking scene if you're a big fan of the original. It's also got movie trivia, just like the first. It's totally a movie for the horror buffs. I gave `Scream' 10/10, I decided it's fair to give `Scream 2' a 10/10, because it was just as good. If you loved `Scream', I suggest you see this one too. I would change nothing.

Friday, February 2, 2001


What more could a horror-buff ask for? Scream has it all. Movie trivia and spoofs, twisted ending and beginning, lovable characters played by talented actors/actresses, and is even scary the second time you see it.  The film follows Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell), a teenager trying to put her life back together after the brutal murder of her loving mother. The accused murderer, Cotton Weary (Liev Schreiber), is locked up and is waiting  to be put to death by the gas chamber. Out of the blue, mysterious killings start to happen. The nosey, local news reporter, Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox), is scooping out this mystery of why these killings started happening exactly one year after Weary was arrested. Weathers believes that Weary is innocent of the murder of Sidney's mother and isn't too far from proving Sidney's mother's real killer may still be loose. Could the killer be Sidney's boyfriend, Billy Loomis (Skeet Ulrich)? Sidney's best friend, Tatum Riley (Rose McGowan)? Tatum's brother, the town's deputy, Deputy Dwight `Dewey' Riley (David Arquette)? Tatum's boyfriend, Stuart (Matthew Lillard). Sidney's secret admirer, the town's mastermind, who knows everything about everything, Geeky Randy Meeks (Jamie Kennedy)? Or even the money-hungry fame-seeking Gale Weathers herself?  The big reveal is definitely worth the wait.  Followed by three inferior sequels.